He observed flames shooting up at least four feet high (no exaggeration here), visible through the fence that divides our patio from hers. The flames died down a bit, but then picked up again. There was no noise, such as the sound of lighter fluid cans being squeezed or any type of rustling about. He did much better than I would have done when he asked, POLITELY, "May I ask what you are doing?"
There was no immediate reply, which concerned him. He thought it may be an arsonist. Our back alleyway was recently targeted by an arsonist who set fire to a neighbor's shrubbery, so his concern was not unfounded.
Quietly, the sarcastic response came over the fence, "If you're talking to me, I do have a name."
Oh boy, do we EVER know her name! Here we must digress for a few moments.
After Effie wrote that recent Rambling Epistle, which included her first and last names (first time we had that bit), I did a little Google search. Not only did I find she's living under an alias, she also apparently has a record! Short version: a woman bearing her same (legal) name was detained in a major west coast airport (that just happens to be in the same city where Effie grew up) for seven hours on a return from Thailand before the customs folk got a search warrant and an x-ray after which she opted to remove the packet of HEROIN from her, er, nether regions.
Interestingly enough, my Google-ventures also led me to find an interesting gap in (definitely Effie's) Linked In profile during that same time and a few years afterward. Also, she mentions having traveled to Thailand. Thus far, I have been unable to prove myself wrong. I have serious reason to believe our girl is a drug mule felon!
Less interestingly, she moved here because her house -- which she had to buy under her legal name (small world!) -- was foreclosed on in the Countrywide scam. If she were nicer, I'd feel sorrier for her. I do feel a little sorry for her. Very little. Oh, and so much for her story about having to sell her house...that was from Day One.
Back to this morning's encounter.
Effie: "If you're talking to me, I have a name..."
and some grot about "you've never been nice" and "it could have been so much better if you had been nice..."
Sweetie "My niceness is immaterial."
Effie: Of course it's immaterial. It's always all about you.
Sweetie: Listen, I saw open flames and was concerned. (Good on him for not biting on her attack!)
Effie: "It's a barbecue I've had for years."
???
He said, "Well, thank you," and left it at that and went into the house.
We're waiting for another shoe to drop. She tends to wait several days before doing something stupid in retaliation for imaginary affronts. Or was this an "ambush?" I can't keep up with her twisted imagination and flights of fancy. Maybe I shouldn't use the word "flight" in conjunction with her...
Stay tuned!
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